There might be a "wipe nose" button but I haven't spotted it yet.

[albadger]

I wake up at 4AM, stomach roiling and acidy. After a drink of water, I'm convinced I'm going to vomit. I position myself over the toilet and get ready to spew, and what happens?

A sneezing fit. I still feel like barfing but all I can do for 15 minutes is sneeze. I am very careful NOT to hit any of the buttons on the toilet control panel while this is happening.

---

It's one of those toilets with an elaborate control panel mounted on the wall, you see; push one button and a little jet of water sprays over your tush for a minute; push another and you get a jet of warm air. I haven't had the nerve to push ENEMA yet, much less FEMININE -- which has a logo shaped like a mid-1960's "flip" hair-do. This kind of hair may still be popular with the ladies in whatever country the toilet is from.

Comments

[theoctothorpe.livejournal.com]

Probably Japanese. It's more than likely a Toto (Check out their Neorest line!). The "feminine" button will probably dispense 'freshness' (ie, scent) to the (ahem) 'area'. There may also be buttons to make calming nature noises to disguise the bodily noises, although I don't think they're loud enough to mask heaving.

[dhpbear.livejournal.com]

So the Neorest™ is the top of the line in a line of 3 models?

[theoctothorpe.livejournal.com]

Actually, the Neorest is a line in itself. They also make toilet seats that incorporate the Neorest features, but they're listed separately.

[albadger.livejournal.com]

Actually this one is the "Bio-Bidet" by a different manufacturer. Pretty much same product.

[maxauburn.livejournal.com]

Don't press the button marked " Hyper Space".. not unless you want to find yourself in a galaxy far, far away!

[albadger.livejournal.com]

If they had a button marked "Hyper Space," I would have punched that first thing.