albadger | Fourteen Questions for the God of War

One of the purposes of Home Depot is the people watching, which worked for me yesterday when I took

bestbear_icanbe thither to fetch a new thermostat. There was an adorable hobbit in the Electronics aisle, shyly handsome and rough-hewn in a knit cap; he was helping his elderly and infirm father navigate the wall of audio wiring possibilities. I swear it was pure coincidence that we ended up right behind him in the checkout line. It was not a coincidence that he was in my dream last night.

Actually, in the dream, I was him, helping my elderly and infirm father around Home Depot. Dad's attention was caught by a wall of sundries hanging on hooks. He plucked down one item, a "Casino Game Rigging Kit," containing nothing but thumbtacks and pennies.

"Oh my Gosh!" he exclaimed. "I didn't know they still made these! I used to do this when I was a kid. You thumbtack the pennies to the dice. Win every time."

"Uh, Dad... that's not really ethical, is it?" I asked.

He didn't answer, but he could have said that any casino that would let this work would pretty much deserve anything that happened to it.

I couldn't dissuade him from putting the kit in the basket, but my own gaze was drawn to the item hanging next to the kit. It was a small booklet, illustrated in 1910's-style rotogravure, titled Fourteen Questions for the God of War. I had to have it. I glanced about me to make sure nobody was watching while I threw it in our cart. Then I woke up.