albadger: (Lonely Lady Freakout)
albadger ([personal profile] albadger) wrote2010-03-21 09:08 am
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Fourteen Questions for the God of War

One of the purposes of Home Depot is the people watching, which worked for me yesterday when I took [livejournal.com profile] bestbear_icanbe thither to fetch a new thermostat. There was an adorable hobbit in the Electronics aisle, shyly handsome and rough-hewn in a knit cap; he was helping his elderly and infirm father navigate the wall of audio wiring possibilities. I swear it was pure coincidence that we ended up right behind him in the checkout line. It was not a coincidence that he was in my dream last night.
Actually, in the dream, I was him, helping my elderly and infirm father around Home Depot. Dad's attention was caught by a wall of sundries hanging on hooks. He plucked down one item, a "Casino Game Rigging Kit," containing nothing but thumbtacks and pennies.

"Oh my Gosh!" he exclaimed. "I didn't know they still made these! I used to do this when I was a kid. You thumbtack the pennies to the dice. Win every time."

"Uh, Dad... that's not really ethical, is it?" I asked.

He didn't answer, but he could have said that any casino that would let this work would pretty much deserve anything that happened to it.

I couldn't dissuade him from putting the kit in the basket, but my own gaze was drawn to the item hanging next to the kit. It was a small booklet, illustrated in 1910's-style rotogravure, titled Fourteen Questions for the God of War. I had to have it. I glanced about me to make sure nobody was watching while I threw it in our cart. Then I woke up.

[identity profile] cjsmith.livejournal.com 2010-03-21 04:16 pm (UTC)(link)
That is a great title! I'd grab a booklet like that, too.

[identity profile] albadger.livejournal.com 2010-03-21 08:11 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm thinking it would be a good title for a book or play. Or movie!

[identity profile] maxauburn.livejournal.com 2010-03-21 04:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Cool dream.

I just have ONE question of the God of War:

Why?

[identity profile] robearal.livejournal.com 2010-03-21 04:44 pm (UTC)(link)
"They took our __________!"

Land
Women
Riches
Jobs

[identity profile] albadger.livejournal.com 2010-03-21 08:12 pm (UTC)(link)
They took our jobs! See icon from South Park episode "Goobacks." Not a good episode but a favorite of mine. They took our jobs!

[identity profile] kevynjacobs.livejournal.com 2010-03-21 07:20 pm (UTC)(link)
They aren't the right religion.

[identity profile] bearhedded.livejournal.com 2010-03-21 06:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow! I can't read in my dreams, or see myself in a mirror......

[identity profile] albadger.livejournal.com 2010-03-21 08:13 pm (UTC)(link)
I dreamed I was an illiterate vampire... ;)

Of course if I'd looked into a mirror in this dream I would have seen the cute guy from Home Depot and not me, so...

[identity profile] robearal.livejournal.com 2010-03-22 12:04 am (UTC)(link)
"I dreamed I was an illiterate vampire..."

Is that the opening to a lost work by Daphne DuMaurier?

[identity profile] albadger.livejournal.com 2010-03-22 05:31 am (UTC)(link)
I dreamed I was an illiterate vampire again?

[identity profile] benpanced.livejournal.com 2010-03-22 02:09 am (UTC)(link)
I dreamed I was an illiterate vampire... ;)

With or without a Maidenform Bra?
Edited 2010-03-22 02:09 (UTC)

[identity profile] albadger.livejournal.com 2010-03-22 05:32 am (UTC)(link)
In my case it would be a Bro...

[identity profile] kevynjacobs.livejournal.com 2010-03-21 07:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Fascinating title!
Plus I learned a new word: rotogravure. Thank you.

[identity profile] albadger.livejournal.com 2010-03-21 08:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Yer welcome! I looked it up after having it show up in a dream -- I didn't realize the process was still widespread well into the 1930s. Funny that I wouldn't remember what was actually on the cover of the pamphlet but I'd remember the printing process...