This Sonnet's not very Good, but then neither is the motivation behind it.

[albadger]

All month I've loudly bragged to all my friends,

"I'll purchase pies as fuel for New Years Day.

"I'll eat a slice at each of BART's five ends

"In Dublin, Richmond, Antioch, Millbrae."

 

A goal conceived on lazy afternoons

Before a virus sent our dreams to scrub,

And I recall the line from Looney Tunes --

Is this trip really necessary, Bub?

 

My imp within says, "alter your intents

"To keep your purchased pies from death in vain;

"Just drive around and stage the fake events

"And none will know you didn't ride the train."

 

And none shall know and none shall sense my feint,

And Rose Ruiz remains my patron saint!

Comments

[zipperbear]

If you eat sufficiently healthful pies (whatever those may be, now that bacon is a diet food), you could take 40 more years to die of cancer at a reasonably advanced age like Rosie, and rack up sympathy all the while (unless that would be too patronizing).